The Witch Doctor

Would The Witch Doctor go on strike?

Witch Doctor — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 13:41:34 +0000

Q. Would The Witch Doctor ever go on strike if the circumstances and cause were right?
A. Yes

Q. In some circumstances, would The Witch Doctor be prepared to go on strike over pensions or any monetary matter affecting herself or other doctors?
A. No

Q In some circumstances, would The Witch Doctor be prepared to go on strike over an attack on the principles that have underpinned the NHS?
A. Yes

Q. What form would the strike take?
A. It would cut out all the faffing about that doctors have allowed to be imposed upon them. This would involve much committee work, much reading of documents, all appraisal related work, much useless personal development exercises. Most tick box forms would be shreaded. It would involve a refusal to take part in many activities that were designed to be a preamble to privatisation of the NHS e.g patient referral centres to name but one.

It would probably involve shutting down all emails – they are now abused and that abuse is leading a huge waste of staff time (and therefore public money) within the NHS, as well as a means of bullying staff into “doing things now because what I’m doing now is more important that what you’re doing now!”

There would be much, much more.

Q. Would patients benefit from this industrial action?
A. Yes. The time saved would be spent on direct patient care. Ensuring each patient knew and had met their consultant as part of a proper consultant delivered service. Ensuring proper time was given to the problems of individual patients. Ensuring a proper relationship with nursing staff. Ensuring patients in the wards did not go un-fed and un-watered. Ensuring a proper relationship between GPs and the patients they refer. Ensuring proper time spent with trainees. And much more.

The definition of “proper” would be The Witch Doctor’s, not the governments.

In addition, time spent gathering stupid and contrived material in order to sell yourself so that “appraisal” and, in future, revalidation “goes well,” would be spent on “proper” continuing professional development. The kind of professional development that not only makes you a safe doctor but the very best you can be. This time would be spent only on worthwhile personal development relative to The Witch Doctor’s own personal knowledge and deficiencies. For example little time would be spent on “soft skills” such as “communication skills,” or “how and when to smile at patients” skills, or attending courses on the best way to broach patients on very private matters such as how they want their lives to end or whether they have a gambling habit. The Witch Doctor thinks she knows very well how, when, and if it is appropriate to broach these very personal concerns during the doctor – patient relationship. Further more she received no formal training on these cuddly, caring matters. She certainly would not agree to obediently following some kind of “payment by results” protocol.

In addition, time used to fill up “begging” documents such as application for discretionary points, merit awards, distinction awards, platinum, gold, silver, carbon, uranium or tin clinical excellence awards or whatever ever-changing name is given to these “obedience bonuses” would be transferred to direct patient care.

Witches don’t beg.

Even if it means they will never be rich.

Witches and doctors will always earn enough to buy the mince.

There are other kinds of riches.

The Witch Doctor – Link to a random page

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Industrial action

Witch Doctor — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 15:02:39 +0000

From time to time The Witch Doctor finds it necessary to sharpen her brain by casting the spell that makes her young again.

On this occasion she is trying to remember what she can with regard to industrial action among doctors and others within the NHS.

Her memory is still dim even with the help of The Book of Spells, however here are some random thoughts regarding her recollections.

She can remember some very bizarre situations.

For example, once, when the porters were in strike, senior management had to do their work and she remembers how much they moaned at having to exercise themselves into the evenings and at weekends transporting patients. Management office doors are generally tight shut and locked over weekends and public holidays in WD’s neck of the woods. They will deny it of course, but it is absolutely true. Believe me, this witch knows more about this than anyone but telling you how she knows might reveal WD’s identity.

And that would never do!

She remembers too how the medical records and secretarial staff withdrew their labour and doctors were left to see patients without case notes at the clinics. A highly dangerous way of practising medicine! However, it seemed the doctors were more prepared to take this risk than cross a picket line to look out the records themselves. Or more likely than not, they didn’t know how the filing system in medical records worked. Case notes too were hidden in all sorts of nooks and crannies in various hospitals and doctors rooms. After that strike, doctors tended to hang on to patients notes longer than necessary in case more industrial action followed.

No doubt some resorted to The Lemon Technique.

She remembers university staff going on strike but nevertheless those who were medically qualified fulfilled all their clinical commitments but perhaps boycotted some university work.

She remembers strikes among laboratory staff when services had to be cut back to a bare minimum but emergency work was usually covered.

The Witch Doctor can recollect vaguely doctors going on a massive strike in another country far from the UK. Somebody followed it up with some research demonstrating that the death rate fell when doctors were on strike! The pro-euthanasia religion, and “we-must-have-revalidation-to-address-the-Harold-Shipman-phenomenon” brigade would no doubt read far too much into this!!!

I’m sure if she racked her brains, The Witch Doctor could remember more industrial action over the years within the NHS but she is having great difficulty remembering the medical profession striking in the UK.

Apparently there was a junior doctors strike in the 70’s but the young WD has no recollection of this and whether it involved direct patient care.

However, there was some industrial action among GPs at one time. The Witch Doctor can’t even remember when or even if she herself was a doctor then. She has no idea what the strike was about. All she can remember was that the GPs decided not to do the government’s work for them. They refused to sign sick lines or something like that but surgeries and home visits continued as before.

What is interesting is The Witch Doctor can remember what happened during the strikes but has no recollection whatsoever what any of these strikes were about or whether striking had any effect on what they were about!

Perhaps that is a valid point.

Has The Witch Doctor ever gone on strike?

No.

Would she ever go on strike if the circumstances and cause were right?

She might tell you later.

On the other hand, she might not.

The Witch Doctor – Link to a random page

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LINK TO UK MISSING KIDS WEBSITE

LINK TO MISSING PERSONS WEBSITE

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