Posted by: Witch Doctor | October 22, 2007

PET can mean many things

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This post, written by The Witch Doctor just over a year ago, has just appeared at the front of this blog as if by magic.

Why, I wonder?

A LITTLE TREASURE FROM AN NHS PARTNER

The word PET will mean different things to you depending on whether you are a teenager, a cat-loving pensioner, a medical student or medical practitioner of some kind or another.

If you are a GP you will find it particularly confusing, because you will need to decide whether you are in Obstetric Mode or Dr Foster Mode.

They are quite different and it is important not to confuse the two when you are checking a pregnant patient’s blood pressure.

The Dr Foster variety of PET stand s for “Patient Experience Tracker”

If you are a practice manager, you can buy it tonight on the internet. Right now. Just pop it in your shopping basket, pay for it and check out. No doubt the GPs in your practice will be delighted in the morning when you tell them what you have purchased for them, and will be happy to refund you in full for the payment you made on their behalf.

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A PET STARTER PACK

Here is what you get in your PET Starter Pack:

” * One year rental of a PET GPRS unit including power supply and standard design
* 1 question set tailored to your requirements
* On-going analysis and reporting of results, provided on a weekly basis via email and also available to access on-line
* On-going telephone support to help with questions and queries
* GPRS telephone rental (used for data transfer)
* Promotional material including:
o Publicity poster to encourage your patients to use PET (x1)
o Results poster to track improvements (x1)
o Comments cards (x 250)
o Tent cards (x 2)
o Door stickers (x 4)
o User manual
o White board marker for use on the results poster”

ROLL UP! ROLL UP! BUY YOUR PET STARTER PACK HERE!

“PET comes with a desktop or wall mounted stand. You can choose from a plain stand or one that has a built-in post box for patients to post additional comments in. Please select below which type of stand you would like.”

Eh?

You don’t know what it’s for?

It’s for asking your patients five questions, stupid!!

You wouldn’t want a bundle of paper with pencils tied to a table with a piece of grotty old string, cluttering up your surgery, would you?

Huh?

What does it cost.?

Just over £1000 (£950 +VAT). But that’s the special offer introductory price.

So you better get off your mark.

Quick.

P.S. This was one of the ingredients in the MENU OF SERVICES offered by Ivan Lewis

We said at the time these ingredients wouldn’t come cheap. Didn’t we, My Black Cat?

How many GP practices are there in the UK?

Nice little earner…..

The Witch Doctor – Link to a random page

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LINK TO UK MISSING KIDS WEBSITE

LINK TO MISSING PERSONS WEBSITE

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