Posted by: Witch Doctor | August 20, 2008

Iwantgreatcare – the first analysis

Allegedly, one of the main aims of is to help patients choose the best doctor.

Some media reports say that the names of all UK doctors are on it.

This is rubbish of course, but because they are told this, many of the public will believe it.

This is the first analytical report from The Ancient Retired Witches who are looking into this matter:

“We imagined the Scenario that we wanted to retire to Oxford. Being past our sell by dates we needed to ensure excellent medical facilities were there to serve us well.

We assumed that all UK doctors were on it. We assumed this, because some of the press are assuming this and we assumed that is what patients would assume. Why, therefore, might we assume otherwise?

We imagined we were dizzy, but there is no mention of an audiovestibular specialist (posh for ENT presumably) in Oxford.

CONCLUSION: Those of us who are deaf or dizzy will not retire to Oxford.

We imagined we had a heart attack, or had a heart murmur or were in cardiac failure, but there was no mention of even a single cardiologist in Oxford. Nor was there mention of cardiothoracic surgery going on in Oxford.

CONCLUSION: Those of us who have dicky hearts will not retire to Oxford.

Doubtless, The Ancient Passed-Their-Sell-By-Dates Witches will be submitting their second analysis soon and in so doing help keep their brains alert!

N.B. The Jobbing Doctor is doing an independent analysis of the situation. He says he is looking for a London rheumatologist for a patient with systemic sclerosis but we witches think he wants Dame Carol Black to do something with his knee which is keeping him awake at night.

Please note, in spite of his knee problems, The Jobbing Doctor is not an Out-of-Date Witch although he seems to have been checking out The Witch Doctor in The Parallel Universe.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: