Posted by: Witch Doctor | October 29, 2008

Divining the true patient experience

“Divining the true patient experience”


That has to be A Blue Bottle Spell!


The Homerton hospital in London seems to have purchased some PETS for patients. Thirty six of them. These PETS are scattered around the hospital. There are also Pie Charts and Graphs of Many Colours pinned up on the walls.

Now, these PETS can be bought on the internet 24 hours a day. So, if you are a doctor, this is a great blessing. You can get on with your clinical work during the day and order your PET at night. You can put one in your shopping basket now and pay for it using your debit card. They have been on special offer for some time. Each PET costs £950 plus VAT. So if you want 36 PETS you will need to have well over £36,000 in your current account to pay off the debit card at the end of the month.

Or, you could use your credit card, but maybe this is not the time to ask the banks for £36,000.

Anyway, the staff at the Homerton, are so pleased with their PETS that they’re talking about them to the BBC.

Jennie Negus who is the Homerton’s deputy director of nursing is very keen on having these PETS around.

Alan Johnson, too, is impressed:

“Health Secretary Alan Johnson says in the next year he wants a scheme like this in every hospital across the country – tracking the patient experience in real-time. Jennie Negus, Homerton’s deputy director of nursing, says the scheme has helped to drive up standards.”

Wonder how many hospitals there are in England?

Wonder if Mr Johnson want PETS in polyclinics too?

And every GP surgery?

Gracious me, it’s all mounting up.

A nice tidy little sum going into the PET business.

Is Dr Foster Intelligence quoted in the stock market?

If so, is now the time we witches should buy some shares?

Hmm. Not till we find out who the competitors are…….

After all, Dr Foster Intelligence was ousted by Capita who were awarded the NHS Choices contract.

At a cost of £60m – £80m.

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