Posted by: Witch Doctor | January 17, 2011

Home deliveries


For some reason The Spirit is moving The Witch Doctor to blog about Home Deliveries.

It is not good for a witch of whatever seniority and experience to ignore The Spirit who is the wisest of all the witches because she is The Spirit of all the witches past present and future.

Firstly, as will become clear the “home delivery” referred to is not the “Chinese Carry-out” variety.

Going back in time……..

The Witch Doctor was herself a home delivery. This was not uncommon at the time she was born.

Her first encounter of the world was in an upstairs bedroom of a semi-detached suburban villa in a small street that we will call The Crescent because it was hardly long enough to merit the word “Street” or “Road” or elegant enough to be an”Avenue.”

There were several children born in “The Crescent.” For some reason most of them were boys, and so when a girl was born it added a little variety. There was a custom in “The Crescent” that the father would go to the upstairs bedroom window (the delivery room) and stand for a while with one hand raised if it was a boy and two hands if a girl. All the neighbours would be aware when a woman went into labour because they would be watching every move in the street from behind the curtains and they would witness the arrival of “The Midwife.” The news that “The Midwife” had arrived would spread like wildfire to every house. It was the same with “The Doctor,” The Ambulance” or “The Hearse.”

“The Crescent” missed nothing.

So, The Witch Doctor’s father, when the time was right and all the kettles of water he had boiled had cooled down, and any drama that might have gone on was safely over, went over to the window and raised two arms to indicate his little witch girl-child was born although at that time it was not apparent to anyone that this baby was a witch.

This was very good news in a boy-child-dominated crescent so there would have been a lot of cheering and congratulations.

Now when this witch-child was about three or four, just about the time it was becoming apparent she was a witch, she discovered something rather odd.

She said, “What’s this dent in my forehead?”

She was told vaguely, “Oh you had when you were born.”

No-one noticed it because her hair covered it, but when The Witch Child started school, she looked at other children’s foreheads and she realised that no one else had a dented forehead.

Always the drama queen, The Witch Child sometimes used to lift up her hair from the right side of her forehead and say:

“Look at this dent in my forehead!”

“Feel it!”

That quickly brought her back into centre stage again as everyone marvelled.

“How did you get that?”

“Is it sore?”

“Did somebody hit you on the head?”

No, she said proudly, “it was there when I was born.”

Now if The Witch Child were to put her head in a certain position, she could have filled this little lovable deformity with a little water and it would not have run down her face. The water would have formed a little puddle on her forehead as it nestled into the dent. The dent would have become a little pond.

So the little potential pond on The Witch Doctor’s forehead just became part of her. No-one but these early school friends know about it and those who know her now have never noticed. (The Witch Doctor is endowed with a thick head of hair).

It wasn’t till The Witch Doctor was a medical student that she realised what the dent was. It was “A Pond Fracture” ….. a type of skull fracture that occurs on the soft bones of a baby’s head as the result of a difficult forceps delivery.

But The Witch Doctor came to no harm. They seemed to think the brain underneath the fracture was OK (and anyway it’s just a bit of the frontal lobe underneath). So, you can in fact have quite a difficult delivery at home with a midwife, have a little skull fracture of sorts and still come to no harm.

However, the witch’s mother never had another child.

So, The Witch Doctor to this day has no idea what it feels like to have a sibling.

But she knows what its like to have a little secret pond fracture well hidden under her hair.



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  1. […] why The Witch Doctor revealed to the whole of the World Wide Web that she has a dinky little pond fracture under her hair. It seems a bit odd to reveal such a personal matter. Of course, The Witch Doctor […]

  2. […] they will shrug off The Witch Doctor’s pond fracture as just one of those […]

  3. […] The Madwives will have a ball! […]

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