Posted by: Witch Doctor | February 18, 2011

Gillian Needham prose and the land of make believe


Witches like to play little games of make believe.

Today The Witch Doctor is pretending to be Professor Elisabeth Paice.

Firstly, you need to know a little about the background of this pretence:

DNUK is a doctors only website although certain chosen (and possibly “trusted”) members of the media can observe what is going on in a small part of it.

Apart from that, all those participating have medical degrees. DNUK is not open to other healthcare professionals or the general public.

Among the doctors participating there are commenters and lurkers. Probably The Lurkers greatly outnumber The Commenters but The Witch Doctor can’t be absolutely sure about that.

Witches of all shapes and sizes lurk but never comment.

Professor Elisabeth Paice seems to be A Lurker. She has been called a witch, but I am sure she is not. Witches lurk in a different way. She picked up that “Scatological Terminology” was being used to describe Dame Carol Black. Both, being high profile leaders figures in the medical establishment, probably know each other.

Enter into The Witch Doctor’s world of make believe:

If WD was Professor Elisabeth Paice Pretender, and, while lucking, she read a comment that she thought was particularly nasty about her friend and/or colleague Dame Carol Black, she may well have phoned The Dame and told her to get lurking fast and see what they were saying about her. She might even have told her exactly what they were saying. Then she would have shut up because she would have had confidence that Dame Carol Black would know how to deal with it.

Other than that Professor Paice Pretender would have done nothing else.

Yes, she would have shut up.

To Professor Paice Pretender what was said would have been no big deal.

The Oldest Sage Witch, who was care-taking the WD blog at that time, played her own game of make believe. She became Dame Carol Black Pretender. Here is what she said in August 2008:


The Oldest Sage Witch has been playing a little game with herself.

She has been imagining she is Dame Carol Black.

It has been a difficult game because The Oldest Sage Witch cannot get her head round why ANYONE would ever want or need to be involved in so many activities as The Dame.

The Oldest Sage Witch never has, and never will have that need.

That aside, as The Dame Carol Pretender, The Oldest Sage Witch firstly considered how she would react to scatological language.

Since few know what was actually said by the The Scottish Doctor on DNUK, it seemed reasonable to use Dr Rant as a kind of surrogate taster for the type of comment that might cause offence.

And so The Dame Carol Pretender read this post over and over again.

And failed to be offended.

Why is that?

All she saw was anger, daring, passion, wit and spirit.

That is good, because that is what the medical profession needs right now. If there was more anger, daring, passion, wit, spirit and political incorrectness around, MTAS and many of the impositions that have happened since would have been well and truly nipped in the bud.


We witches often have the greatest respect for those whose purpose in life is not tainted by continually wondering if they have been nice enough.

And while you’re over at Dr Rant, read the post about the dying bird, will you?

That illustrates what I’m trying to say.


This Dame Carol Black Pretender would by now have made damned sure that The Scottish Doctor was reinstated in his post.

This Dame Carol Black Pretender would have been on the phone to Professor Gillian Needham immediately she heard of this doctors suspension – and would have refused to put the phone down until the suspension was lifted.

She would have got on the first plane to Aberdeen if necessary to ensure this didn’t get out of control.

Then she would have then phoned her pal Professor Paice and told her in no uncertain terms to mind her own business. She would have reminded her that Dame Carol Black Pretender was not wrapped up in cotton wool and did not need a “minder.” She would have said she was perfectly able to deal with obscene language uttered about her by a junior doctor in her own way and in her own time.

Thank you very much!

We probably would have had a great big fall out!

Then, The Dame Carol Black Pretender would have marched into the GMC offices where she was well known and baring her teeth if necessary, ensure that no documentation would be written regarding this incident.

And having done all of these things, she would have contacted The Scottish Doctor and sworn at him for causing her so much bother!

And then she would have sworn at him again.

I trust you have done all of these things, Dame Carol Black.

At times like this, you don’t need to worry much about your dignity or about being nice!

Just sort it out.


So, dear leaders of the medical profession, we in The Witching Community are always at hand to give you good advice. Sometimes that advice uses scatological language. You will need to consider the advice we give. You will need to stop regarding the medical bloggers as the wild, wilful, delinquent adolescents of the medical profession.

We are no such thing.

History is now demonstrating that over the past few years, the medical bloggers are perhaps more experienced, worldly wise, sensible than their “leaders.” Indeed one might say, they themselves are the true leaders.

They just have a funny way of doing things.

Eh, My Black Cat?



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