Posted by: Witch Doctor | May 8, 2011



Well, it’s over a week now since The Royal Wedding, and My Black Cat has just confessed where she was when she jumped off The Broomstick from a great height during the ceremony in Westminster Abbey.

She says, that having contemplated the hats the guests were wearing she took it upon herself to investigate the shoes. She skulked around the pews ccasionally rubbing herself against a few ankles as she passed by and in so doing caused a few puzzled downward glances but her furry contact was hardly noticed since everyone was so entranced by the pageantry.

Well, My Black Cat, did you apporve of the shoes?


The heels were ridiculously high!

But it is part of the pageantry to wear high heels to a wedding, My Black Cat. It is not the done thing to wear trainers or grubby old Cons to any wedding, far less a Royal Wedding.

The only people permitted to wear nice comfortable trainers are the bride and bridesmaids. Presumably the bride was wearing two crisp white Converse shoes well hidden under her beautiful dress and train.

You saw people with six inch heels?

That’s impossible My Black Cat. No-one can walk on six inch heels, not even those who are trained in the craft of stilt-walking!

Yes, they can walk on six inch heels!

No they can’t!

Yes, they can!

No they can’t!

Yes they can! They raise the sole by 2 inches, so they are really only walking on 4 inch heels.

Well, My Black Cat, four inches or six inches, it is a ridiculous way for anyone to treat their feet. They’ll get bunions and back problems and they’ll trip and fall flat on their faces.

Stupid Humankind of the female variety!

You don’t think the NHS should pay these people for the treatment of bunions and back-ache and falls if they have been known to wear very high heels?

Of course the NHS should pay, My Black Cat. When they have bunions or backache or falls they become patients regardless of the fact they have not taken care of their feet. Are you suggesting overweight people should not be treated on the NHS for their diabetes, smokers should not be teated for the multitude of conditions they suffer from, rugby injuries should not be treated?

If these people have a medical or surgical condition then they are patients, My Black Cat. They should be treated on the NHS unless they themselves decide they want to see a private practitioner for whatever reason.

It is The Clients that the NHS should consider abandoning in this time of financial need, not the patients.

For example, My Black Cat, if a women prior to purchasing a pair of shoes with these six inch heels makes an appointment to see her GP to ask his/ her advice about the pros and cons of buying them, then she is visiting her GP as a client, not as a patient. The Witch Doctor is damned sure she doesn’t want the taxes she pays spent dishing out advice of such a frivolous nature.

Incidentally, My Black Cat, shortly after this blog started, you were supposed to be defining the difference between clients and patients. Back then it seemed to us it seemed that it might become quite an important distinction for the future of the NHS. The Witch Doctor thinks the time has come.

This is what we said way back in 2007……..


How many kinds of patients are there?

1. The very ill or injured.
2. The not so very ill or injured.
3. The infirm, the elderly, the chronic sick.
4. The pregnant.
5. The worried well who think they are ill but are well.
6. The unworried ill who think they are well but are ill.
7. The well adults
8. The well children.


You don’t think they are all patients, My Black Cat?

Some are clients?

I suppose so. Doctors never used to have clients, did they?

You don’t think doctors should have clients, My Black Cat? Is that what you’re saying?



Lawyers have clients.

Accountants have clients.

Prostitutes have clients.

Why should doctors, the other great profession, not have clients, My Black Cat?

You think doctors should only treat patients……….

OK. Who are the patients?


You see, you can’t work it out.

There are too many shades of grey.

Try working out the black and white bits first. The definite clients and the definite patients.

Then worry about the grey.



redapple.jpg a red apple ……………………

The Witch Doctor – Link to a random page





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