My Black Cat has just been reading the comments on the last post and she said she was reminded of a dream she once had.
It was the time that polyclinics were first being considered. Following her dream, My Black Cat has always maintained that The Witch Doctor could become a very rich witch if she marketed her spells properly. Very rich indeed. So rich that My Black Cat would have no need to catch her own rats or depend on the disgusting pickled variety when the big winter freeze is on. Oh no. She is of the view that The Witch Doctor would fund a whole team of rat catchers on her behalf and the rats would be served up unpickled on a golden platter as regular as clockwork every four hours.
My Black Cat reckons this would give her much more time to hunt the real rats – the ones who are hell bent on tearing the NHS into tatters and pretend the reason is something to do with that ridiculous term “Patient Choice”
This was her dream way back in February 2008:
THE POLYCLINIC DREAM
You say you feel very ill, My Black Cat?
Today you sneezed two hundred times, and coughed a thousand times. You have a sore throat and a sore head. In fact every single muscle is sore – even the ones that move your eyes from side to side.
You shivered all night and roasted all day.
You have a very bad cold, My Black Cat. Or maybe even ‘flu.
Just stay in bed. It will run its course……….
DREAMING ABOUT A CURE FOR THE COMMON COLD
Ah, you’ve had a nice long sleep, My Black Cat. Do you feel a bit better?
You were dreaming about a polyclinic?
You dreamed a dream that a local franchised polyclinic appeared in our village and it looked after people well when they had a cold.
You dreamed you could phone the polyclinic any time of the day or night. They employed friendly robots from 7.00 pm until 8.00 am every evening. The robots were there at weekends and throughout every public holiday. You were never alone without robotic medical help.
You say you phoned the robot, My Black Cat?
And what did you tell the robot?
That you sneezed two hundred times, and coughed a thousand times, that you have a sore throat and a sore head, that every single muscle is sore – even the ones that move your eyes from side to side and that you shivered all night and roasted all day.
And what did the robot do?
The robot sent a message by e-mail to one of a team of schoolchildren employed on a part-time basis by the polyclinic. These children have been provided with special poly-clinic bicycles so that they can earn a little extra pocket money and at the same time provide a valuable servce for the polyclinic.
What service is that, My Black Cat?
A home visit. These children deliver a parcel of goodies to the doorstep of those suffering from the common cold.
And you got your parcel delivered. What was in the parcel?
It was an exciting parcel, beautifully wrapped. The wrapping paper had a logo. The Brand Logo. Inside was a box containing paracetamol, a hot water bottle, a lemon, some funny strong smelling ointment in a little round dark blue bottle, a thermometer, a packet of wet wipes for the fevered brow, and a tussie mussie of herbs grown in the polyclinics “physic garden.”
And a distinguished carrier bag marked with the polyclinics esteemed logo, containing a bottle of the most prestigious health giving chemical of all.
Did this make your cold better, My Black Cat?
No, but it made me realise that the robot from the polyclinic really, really cared.
Knowing that was a geat comfort.
And was all of this provided free by the NHS?
No. In the dream people with colds and flu were classified as “WW-CF” – (Worried Well with Colds and Flu) or C-CF (Clients with Colds and Flu)
Any condition coded “WW” or “C” by the polyclinics does not qualify for NHS care.
Only patients qualify for free health care. They are coded “P.”
How much did the “Worried Well Colds and Flu Parcel” cost you, My Black Cat?”
Did you not mind paying that amount of money to have a parcel delivered – just to show someone cared?
Polyclinics have to make their profits somewhere from someone.
And who better than the worried well………. when they have colds or flu.
That’s true. I suppose, My Black Cat.
Hmm. Did you find out any more about the prestigious health giving chemical they sent you?
But it tasted like water.
a red apple ……………………
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