Posted by: Witch Doctor | November 27, 2011

Medicine scuppered the witch’s ambition: Part 3


If you are a doctor, consider your non-medical friends and relatives

How many of them believe in or have participated in some form of alternative therapy?

80% or even 90% maybe?

Then consider the nurses you know.

How many of them believe in or have participated in some form of alternative therapy?

50 – 60% maybe?

What about the doctors you know – medical practitioners or scientists with say PhDs? How many of them believe in or have used some form of alternative therapy?

5% maybe? 10%? 20%?

Who knows if these figures are correct…. They are just off the cuff. But they feel just about the right percentages for The Witch Doctor’s neck of the woods.

What does The Witch Doctor believe regarding alternative therapy?

Well, she swears by The Book of Spells and her Tussie Mussie Garden, and she has dabbled in auto-hypnosis although she has never practiced the technique on patients.

Does that make her a Woo Woo Wibbler?

At the time when it was thought that polyclinics were going to be forced on every English town and city, The Witch Doctor said something along these lines:

“The Witch Doctor has often considered how easy it would be to become a very, very, very rich Witch. Not by using The Book of Spells and The Cauldron, of course, because these are old fashioned, a bit scary, and not politically correct.

No, The Witch Doctor would have a beautifully designed consulting suite in a good area of town or maybe even a few towns, where many clients (not patients) live. The “medicine” would be dispensed in dear, dinky little blue and green miniature bottles that would contain concoctions from her Tussie Mussie garden. She would call them “The Dandelion Remedy” or “The Buttercup Rememdy” or “The Wild Bergamot Remedy,” or “The Grape Hyacinth Remedy,” This would appeal to the female variety of The Humankind who are rather more crazy than the males when it comes to alternative therapy.

The place would be pristine and there would be fresh flowers everywhere. The Tussie Mussie Garden would be renamed The Peaceful Physic Garden (organic) and clients would be encouraged to wander around in contemplation as part of their therapy.

For good measure, The Witch Doctor would do something most of the alternative practitioners cannot do – throw in a good helping of some sound medicine too when required. And even make a decent diagnosis every now and then. That would put The Witch Doctor’s practice, head and shoulders above the other alternative practitioners.

This would ensure her millionaire status.

Most doctors, if they were so inclined could cream off the alternative medicine market for themselves.

But most don’t.

Why not? Probably for the same reason that The Witch Doctor is not a rich witch.

It is dishonest, because members of the medical profession are educated in these matters and know better. They know that most of the population at some time or another dabble in woo and they know, understand and may have sympathy for the reasons why. However, this knowledge, understanding and sympathy is no reason for medical practitioners to turn their backs on evidence based medicine in order to gain a quick buck from vulnerable patients, the worried well, or clients.

If doctors become the bed-fellows of the cranks and the Woo Woo Wibblers, then it is the end of medicine as a profession.

And so, when The Witch Doctor’s moral compass stopped spinning it pointed 180 degreees away from the Woo pathway.

And that is one reason why medicine has not made The Witch Doctor a rich witch.

And it is one reason why The Witch Doctor is still contemplating whether it is wise to scan the horizon for a husband who is a millionaire.

The Witch Doctor may or may not continue with this story.

A warning:

If she does, it is liable to become serious.

Very serious indeed………

The Witch Doctor – Link to a random page





© Dlundin |


  1. […] all of this regulation and accreditation not just a meta-medicine for Medicine?  An alternative therapy for conventional doctors?  Unproven by any measure outside itself.  Plausible, but […]

  2. […] we stated in a previous post, we witches have a notion that a belief in pseudoscientific alternative medicine is very, very, very […]

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