Posted by: Witch Doctor | December 2, 2011

Me, Prince Charles, Alan Titchmarsh and JC


I suppose it would be true to say that The Witch Doctor has some things in common with HRH The Prince of Wales.

These are :

1. A love of our gardens
2. Gardening on the wild side
3. Talking to our plants

Witches always chatter or sing to their plants when they are gardening, or sowing seeds, or pricking out newly hatched seedlings. And of course we blow the seed everywhere as we sing. We sometimes dance too. It seems a sensible thing to do. Alan Titchmarsh, although not a believer in these activities, is more like that former, recently metamorphosed blogger, Dr Rant – he cruelly swears at his plants! Doubtless, that will soon become an offence in this politically correct country of ours where there are sinister moves afoot to suppress such cruelty! Just think of the uproar that Jeremy Clarkson caused yesterday. I don’t think he even swore. Did he, My Black Cat?

Don’t say we didn’t warn you Mr Titchmarsh! 

(Do click on the link and note the old picket fence and the moss in Alan Titchmarsh’s garden. That is a garden any witch would be proud of!  It is just our style!)

The other thing that we witches like to do is to observe the sky at night. We are not sure if The Prince of Wales participates in this activity, but we wouldn’t be surprised if he does. It is an activity that is becoming increasing difficult because of man-made luminescence throughout the land. It is sad that many children in the UK have never observed The Milky Way because of this.

We also garden by The Lunar Light.

We are aware that many of The Humankind think that talking and dancing to plants, gardening by the light of the moon, and searching for The Milky Way on cold frosty nights when we could be cosy inside, is a sign of madness.

We witches don’t really care what The Humankind think! They have plenty of problems of their own.

These activities, that we witches hold so dear, give us a deep association with nature. We are reminded as we look at the sky and potter about in our moonlit gardens that each one of us is less that a speck of dust in the universe and that our lifespan within it is infinitesimally less than the flutter of an eyelid.

The Humankind don’t much like to think of these realities of life, so they do other things that don’t remind them of their frailty and insignificance on this small planet.

They fight. They war. They kill each other. They kill themselves. They climb money trees on rickety ladders. They drive fast cars and sneeze at high speed. They kill themselves. They work, work, work in the futile hope of finding some self-actualisation. They kill themselves. They develop some very peculiar habits. They kill themselves.

All of this is rather odd to a witch. Nevertheless we have sympathy with The Humankind.

We can fully understand that they seek comfort in bizarre behaviour.

Some seek comfort in meditating and in religion. Sometimes they become fanatical. They kill themselves.

In some parts of the world, followers of the old religions are waning as The Atheist Missionaries seek to convert populations to embrace the logic of science.

This conversion naturally serves as a reminder to many of their frailty and insignificance.

The conversion is not complete, because many of these New World Atheists seek out and perhaps find comfort in the pseudoscience of alternative medicine.

And the more scientific the pseudoscience sounds, the better!

As we stated in a previous post, we witches have a notion that a belief in pseudoscientific alternative medicine is very, very, very common.

And that poses a problem ( or a benefit ) for doctors and scientists who are trained to follow The Scientific Method………

A problem or a benefit…..

Which is it to be?

More soon, maybe.

Or maybe not.

The Witch Doctor – Link to a random page





© Dlundin |


  1. I saw a t shirt recently with the slogan “Science flys you to the moon, religion flys you into buildings”

    I think the problem is that most people understand neither science or religion. Not everyone has an interest in these higher things, and this leaves a lot of space for the false prophets of pseudoscience to thrive.

    I too have a sense of the spiritual when in my garden, or out riding in the country, but i see danger in the idea of insignificance in the scale of the universe. It is a short step from seeing ones own insignificance to seeing the insignificance of others. A doctor, politician or citizen who believes in the insignificance of others is a very dangerous person.

  2. These are very wise words Dr Phil, and I agree entirely about the word “insignificance” in the scale of the universe as having dangers. Indeed I might go as far as to say that an NHS that is increasingly driven by protocol is in danger of placing the individual patient into the “insignificant” category – at least those who do not conform to “the norm.”

    it would have been much better for this stupid witch to have said:

    “the frailty and fragility of living on this small planet.”

    I’m not all that sure that any of us really can fully “understand” either science or religion, but I do believe that sooner or later everyone has to think about these things in some way as living takes it’s toll and we are at our most vulnerable.

    • It is rather presumptious to claim to have an understanding either of science or religion. Many people much wiser than me have struggled to understand either.

      I do have some thoughts on this but they are fairly lengthy so may be better as blogpost than a comment. I shall ponder on.

      Best wishes

      Dr Phil

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