Posted by: Witch Doctor | December 21, 2011

Christmas treat : Tell them they’re fat!


You despair, My Black Cat?

Yesterday it was announced that Matthew Freud, one of the Chipping Norton set, who is also Rupert Murdoch’s son-in-law, is to roll a PR agency, largely owned by him, into the DoH to advise us all that we eat too much, smoke too much and heaven knows what else we do too much. This apparently will cost a £1m per annum of taxpayers’ money.

“Distinct strands of public health work – such as obesity and smoking – were handled as separate accounts managed by different agencies, but now all the work will be rolled up into a single account for MEC managing all the media planning and Freud Communications, the firm founded and largely owned by Rupert Murdoch’s son in law. Freud is married to Elisabeth Murdoch.”

Oh, I’m sure it will be money well spent, My Black Cat. After all, Freud Communications apparently have some “big ideas” and an “exciting pitch.”

Don’t be ridiculous!

I’m not being ridiculous My Black Cat. This is clearly a much sought after company! They are already PR advisors to Pepsi Cola, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Walkers Crisps. They will know all about fat foods. They are helping these companies keep a high profile.

And they confirm they have no conflict of interest:

“Freud PR said that the firm had no immediate conflicts of interest because the health department contract took in work about smoking and the early diagnosis of cancer in old people.
It is understood that the company does not represent any tobacco or pharmaceutical clients.”


Dearie me, My Black Cat, neither they have……..

Silly old witch – that had completely passed me by.

However, My Black Cat, I’m reading something much more interesting.

It seems you can save money by giving a really, really cheap Christmas present in these times of austerity. You don’t even need to buy wrapping paper.

We can “tell our loved ones they are overweight this Christmas.”

“Christmas may be a time of indulging for many, but health experts believe it is the perfect time to tell a loved one they are overweight.

“Men find it hardest to tell their partners, while women were more worried about bringing up the issue with a friend.

But with families and friends getting together up and down the country over the festive period, the experts believe there is an opportunity that should not be missed.”

“Start by encouraging someone close to you to make simple lifestyle changes such as becoming more active, making small alterations to their eating habits and replacing sugary drinks for water.”

Can you explain, My Black Cat, why reading this makes me want to eat a very large Christmas cake, a huge plate of mince pies and a whole Christmas pudding all by myself!

Bless the experts and the New Age Charities!

They make a witch feel exceedingly hungry.

Perhaps, My Black Cat, in the new year we should take it upon ourselves to explain to the government how to help people get fit and lean without really trying, and save them £1m per annum into the bargain.

A Christmas tip to HMG : You could start off by introducing a clause into the HSCB that makes it illegal for the fattening foods and drinks industry to employ PR companies. Then you won’t have to employ them yourself at great cost to undo the work they have already done promoting crisps, fried chicken and the products of the company with the revolving door that beckons folk like Alan Milburn.

Is Pepsi the same as PepsiCo?

Dunno, My Black Cat. We witches don’t drink the stuff.

The Witch Doctor – Link to a random page





© Dlundin |


  1. […] the last post, me and My Black Cat gave Her Majesty’s Government some good advice. “A Christmas tip to HMG : You could start off by introducing a clause into the HSCB that makes it […]

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