Posted by: Witch Doctor | January 26, 2012

Would The Witch Doctor go on strike?

Q. Would The Witch Doctor ever go on strike if the circumstances and cause were right?
A. Yes

Q. In some circumstances, would The Witch Doctor be prepared to go on strike over pensions or any monetary matter affecting herself or other doctors?
A. No

Q In some circumstances, would The Witch Doctor be prepared to go on strike over an attack on the principles that have underpinned the NHS?
A. Yes

Q. What form would the strike take?
A. It would cut out all the faffing about that doctors have allowed to be imposed upon them. This would involve much committee work, much reading of documents, all appraisal related work, much useless personal development exercises. Most tick box forms would be shreaded.  It would involve a refusal to take part in many activities that were designed to be a preamble to privatisation of the NHS e.g patient referral centres to name but one.

It would probably involve shutting down all emails – they are now abused and that abuse is leading a huge waste of staff time (and therefore public money) within the NHS, as well as a means of bullying staff into “doing things now because what I’m doing now is more important that what you’re doing now!”

There would be much, much more.

Q. Would patients benefit from this industrial action?
A. Yes. The time saved would be spent on direct patient care. Ensuring each patient knew and had met their consultant as part of a proper consultant delivered service. Ensuring proper time was given to the problems of individual patients. Ensuring a proper relationship with nursing staff. Ensuring patients in the wards did not go un-fed and un-watered.  Ensuring a proper relationship between GPs and the patients they refer. Ensuring proper time spent with trainees. And much more.

The definition of “proper” would be The Witch Doctor’s, not the governments.

In addition, time spent gathering stupid and contrived material in order to sell yourself so that “appraisal” and, in future, revalidation “goes well,” would be spent on “proper” continuing professional development. The kind of professional development that not only makes you a safe doctor but the very best you can be. This time would be spent only on worthwhile personal development relative to The Witch Doctor’s own personal knowledge and deficiencies. For example little time would be spent on “soft skills” such as “communication skills,” or “how and when to smile at patients” skills, or attending courses on the best way to broach patients on very private matters such as how they want their lives to end or whether they have a gambling habit. The Witch Doctor thinks she knows very well how, when, and if it is appropriate to broach these very personal concerns during the doctor – patient relationship. Further more she received no formal training on these cuddly, caring matters. She certainly would not agree to obediently following some kind of “payment by results” protocol.

In addition, time used to fill up “begging” documents such as application for discretionary points, merit awards, distinction awards, platinum, gold, silver, carbon, uranium or tin clinical excellence awards or whatever ever-changing name is given to these “obedience bonuses” would be transferred to direct patient care.

Witches don’t beg.

Even if it means they will never be rich.

Witches and doctors will always earn enough to buy the mince.

There are other kinds of riches.

The Witch Doctor – Link to a random page





© Dlundin |


  1. I would say the time is now, WD. And get your fellow strikers together and go and picket the medical colleges for their disgraceful climbdown today.

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