When we witches think of Richard Branson, trains, planes, commercial space travel and hot air balloons spring to mind.
When we think of Holly Branson, we think of doctors and her entrepreneurial father.
When we think of them both together we think about The Entrepreneurial Genes that they both likely carry.
Now, it so happens that we witches have something in common with the Branson family — we all carry the entrepreneurial genes too. However, those of us who are witches as well as doctors never let this gene surface when we practice medicine because it can sometimes creep into “The Money Making Gene” or even into its big cousin “The Selfish Gene,” So we think entrepreneurism and doctoring are not very compatible although some entrepreneurial doctors who are not witches may disagree.
Last night during the witching hour all of this started off a hot debate in the coven.
One of witches brought out a print-out from the BBC news.
Just imagine for a moment that you are a patient tucked up in a hospital bed and you are sound asleep in your quiet and peaceful single room. You are recovering from surgery or an episode of heart failure or something serious enough to have you admitted to hospital in the first place (not an easy feat nowadays). Suddenly, during The Witching Hour, a night nurse or some kind of nocturnal administrator shakes you gently (or not so gently) to waken you up from your reverie.
They want you to go home.
They want you to go home in the middle of the night because they are short of beds.
“The government is investigating after figures emerged suggesting that hospital patients in England have been discharged overnight to free up beds.
The Times newspaper discovered, via Freedom of Information requests, that 100 NHS trusts sent 239,233 patients home last year between 23:00 and 06:00.”
The Times article is behind a paywall:
SCANDAL AS NHS PATIENTS THROWN OUT IN THE DARK
“Hundreds of thousands of patients are being sent home from hospital in the middle of the night to relieve pressure on NHS beds, research by The Times reveals.
Patient campaigners say the elderly are often the worst affected as they are abruptly sent home to empty houses without proper planning”
Now, during The Witching Hour we all discussed how we could provide a service to these patients – a service that would be well outwith the capability of Richard Branson and Virgin Health.
We would run a Broomstick Taxi Service to take these patients home during the darkness and keep them safe. A witch would go into the house with each patient, make them a cup of tea or hot chocolate, fill a hot water bottle and tuck them up into their own comfy bed, after changing the bed linen if necessary if they have been in hospital a long time.
We would even go a step further. When called upon by The Night Nurse or The Nocturnal Administrator responsible for discharging the patient during the unholy witching hour, a fully trained witch doctor would go and see the patient personally to determine whether he /she was fit to be discharged during the night. If we deemed the patient was unfit for such a disturbance we would inform The Night Nurse and / or Nocturnal Administrator. We would tell them that the patient should not be transported during The Unholy Witching Hour. If The Night Nurse /Nocturnal Administrator did not comply with our advice, we would wave The Book of Spells in front of them. If they still refused to comply with our witching advice, in the twinkling of an eye they would be turned into cockroaches until dawn.
We feel this is an excellent, professional witching – doctor service that only we can offer. Integrated Care intertwingling with Patient Choice.
Patients would be offered the choice of a broomstick with a medically qualified witch-minder, a taxi, a train , a plane, a space ship or a hot air balloon.
They would, of course, all choose The Broomstick and Richard Branson’stransport systems wouldn’t get a look in.
Virgin wouldn’t touch our means of transport with a barge-pole. Broomsticks are scary things without an accompanying witch.
It might scupper our plans if Holly Branson is a triple whammy – a doctor, an entrepreneur, and a witch.
She may be the first two, but we don’t think she is the latter.
Do we My Black Cat?