Posted by: Witch Doctor | May 12, 2013

The smoking lie detector

BlackCatVap

In The Witch Doctor’s absence, this Black Cat feels obliged to draw your attention to an article in today’s Sunday Times. It was also mentioned in the Andrew Marr Show this morning.

“Pregnant women WILL be tested for smoking.”

“ALL pregnant women WILL BE ASKED to take breath tests for carbon monoxide to check if they are telling the truth about smoking.”

“The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) says midwives should test ALL women with carbon monoxide kits at antenatal appointments.”

(The Green Capitals, the colour of cats eyes, are mine)

Don’t be fooled. This test is not about smoking.

The test is being used as a lie detector founded on the belief that the smoking, lying, women are too witless to find out for themselves when to take their last cigarette prior to visiting an antenatal clinic so that the lie detector will not pick up on it.

The Witch Doctor had something to say on Boxing Day 2010 about this matter.

No doubt her views are much the same today.

AppleGreen

CREEPING DISCRIMINATION, FUMING PATIENTS

On the run up to Christmas there was an interesting skirmish going on in the medical blogosphere regarding surgical discrimination against the lifestyles of certain patients.

Have a good read at these posts as well as their interesting comments.

SMOKERS TO BE DENIED ROUTINE SURGERY TO CUT COSTS

NAILNG PATIENTS

A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE

A NON SMOKER WRITES….

So, it seems at the moment smokers and overweight patients are the most likely targets in stage 1 of this latest discriminatory scourge.

THE TELEGRAPH – SMOKERS AND FAT PATIENTS THROWN OFF NHS WAITING LISTS

“Under the plans drawn up by NHS bureaucrats in Kent, any smoker referred for “non-urgent” operations – such as hip replacements or cataract surgery – will not be allowed to join the queue until they have either given up smoking, or completed a 12-week course to help them ditch the habit.

Those who are seriously overweight will also be denied a range of operations until they have completed a three-month NHS diet programme.”

It is difficult to hide an overweight patient so lets forget about them at present.

It would, however, take a witch clutching the 2020 Edition of The Book of Spells to tell whether a patient was a heavy smoker, a light smoker, a non-smoker, or a “I just stopped last week and will never smoke again kind of smoker”

Doctor’s cannot distinguish the daily smoker from the non –smoker or the “I just stopped last week kind of smoker” just by doing a physical examination. They will routinely ask them about their smoking habits, of course, but what if the patient lies?

The smoking patient, desperate for hip replacement surgery, might have read The Telegraph, The Guardian, The BBC or the medical blogosphere on this matter. Therefore it might be reasonable conclude that such a patient might consider it a good idea to lie about his/her smoking habits in order not to be kicked off the waiting list for surgery because of their sinful lifestyle. After all, lying will come easy to those who are already the sinners of society.

Why would they not lie?

But hey, doctors have a tool in their toolbox.

(If you are a patient wondering about this handyman’s terminology, then you should know it is rife within the NHS just now. There is A Tool for everything, even if the reality is that most of them are just stupid protocols).

This Tool, however, is not a protocol. It is a kind of Lie Detector. Some would call it “A Carbon Monoxide Breath Test”

NICE was in favour of “offering” a similar breath test to pregnant women as an “encouragement” to stop smoking.

“Currently pregnant women are asked if they smoke by midwives and GPs but the National Institute for health and Clinical Excellence (Nice) wants this to go further.

The organisation has recommended that all pregnant women should have their breath measured for carbon monoxide levels when they book in with a midwife.”

That being the case, why should it not become a prerequisite for all patients needing elective surgery to undergo a carbon monoxide breath test?”

If it is deemed necessary for smokers to have given up smoking before elective surgery such as hip replacements or cataracts, then this is the obvious path to follow. The test will need to be compulsory for all non -smokers because there is no other way to tell whether they are lying or not.

Except………

If those clever, lying, sinful smokers, have any sense they will read the literature on this test and deduce for themselves when to take their last puff of a cigarette before the test, in order to render a negative result.

They’ll just do a Google search!

They think sinful, lying, smoking patients are witless semi-literates!

They are not!

Doctors are not witless either. They may be prepared it lie on behalf of their patient if after due consideration, the best medical practice is to go ahead with surgery.

Yes. Doctors may lie if it is in their patient’s interest.

Catch these lying doctors if you can, Great Uncle GMC!

And then decide what you are going to do with them! Will “Good Medical Practice” trump a lying doctor or will it be vice versa?

What stupid, creeping fools are The Humankind, My Black Cat!

They creep into a surveillance society and in so doing make stupid plans that are not even workable.

CONFLICT OF INTEREST

The Witch Doctor is a lifelong non-smoker who follows the following mantra.

Inhaling-smoke-into-your-lungs-cannot-be-a good-thing-and-we-witches-did-not-need-you-or-Richard-Doll-to-tell-us-so-we-worked-it-out-for-ourselves-probably-before-you-were-born!!!!

…………….

CHECK OUT WHAT MY BLACK CAT IS READING

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The Witch Doctor – Link to a random page

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LINK TO UK MISSING KIDS WEBSITE

LINK TO MISSING PERSONS WEBSITE

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