Posted by: Witch Doctor | May 3, 2007

The pernicious protocol

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YOU WILL NEVER SEE A WITCH WITH A CLIP-BOARD, A TICK BOX OR A PROTOCOL

Witches never, ever, ever use protocols. They are dangerous things. Enslaving things. Brain stagnating things.

We use “Aide Memoires” though. All the time. Lest we forget. We scribble little “Post-its” to ourselves, we construct great long “to-do” lists, we stick magnets on the fridge, we play “Aide Memoire” tapes on our i-Pods as we fly around on our broomsticks, we make rows of little plaits in our hair, we put rings on the wrong fingers and shoes on the wrong feet, we tie knots in our cat’s tails, and of course we take a teaspoonful of the little memory enabling potion on the stroke of midnight.

And we fly, listen, watch, read, question, experiment. And every hour of every day, we learn.

Forever.

We call it “Lifelong Learning.”

We add our daily learnings to our “Aide Memoires” Our complex brains are continually being moulded like a sculpture.

You see, “Aide Memoires” support the brains of the witching community. We create our own “Aide Memoires.” We don’t use anyone elses. Of course not. And in so doing we retain ownership of our own brains. We witches have good, experienced brains which we cherish.

Our “Aide Memoires” are fingerprints of our brains. Unique. Just ours.

In the witching community, we consider our brains to be our greatest asset. Even greater than the Book of Spells which is after all only one of our oldest “Aide Memoires.”

We never, ever use protocols. Brains are much better.

Protocols replace brains.

Protocols are composed by committees.

Protocols are owned by committees.

Protocol users must obey the committees.

Protocol users must disobey their brains.

The brain follows the rule “Use it or lose it.”

Protocols are never wrong because protocol committees are composed of experts.

Experts are never wrong.

When a protocol goes wrong, it is because it was not followed properly.

When a protocol goes wrong the committee is not to blame.

Experts are never wrong.

The minor protocol user with the atrophied brain is to blame.

The minor protocol user with the atrophied brain is dispensible.

The major protocol committee is not.

Experts are never wrong.

No one of any importance will take the blame.

Accountability is lost.

Experts are never wrong.

The Witch Doctor wonders why Human Doctors, too, don’t always cherish their brains.

Ah… The vanishing Independent Medical Practitioner

The Witch Doctor – Link to a random page


Responses

  1. […] We think they are dangerous. […]

  2. […] is also difficult to know who should really take The Blame if an impossible protocol is not followed. Should it be The Experienced Committee who developed the […]

  3. […] Because of protocols. […]

  4. […] it seems there is a very good reason for “The Skills Escalator,” for focusing on protocols and competencies rather than experience and professionalism. “Dumbing down” is intended. It saves money for the […]

  5. […] would become “Guidelines” only in name. The opinion was that they would soon metamorphose into protocols and thereafter assume the status of pseudo-legal or even legal […]

  6. […] Of course. That is the way of The Protocol. […]

  7. […] Who exactly would be responsible if a wrong turning is taken by a teenager / student / window-cleaner / nurse employed from April Fool’s day by NHS111? […]

  8. […] Who exactly would be responsible if a wrong turning is taken by a teenager / student / window-cleaner / nurse employed from April Fool’s day by NHS111? […]

  9. […] Who exactly would be responsible if a wrong turning is taken by a teenager / student / window-cleaner / nurse employed from April Fool’s day by NHS111? […]


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